Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
