The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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