But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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