no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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