i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i believe in u and ur pee
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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