You just made me feel so damn special
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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