Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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