Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
