sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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