i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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