There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize