Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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