Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
