Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
please come you make the beer taste better
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She told me I should be a condom model.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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