My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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