do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
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In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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