I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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