U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my sisters under your porch take her home
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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