so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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