After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
