After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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