Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize