Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
