Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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