So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
