porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
