quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
