I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
being pregnant is like rehab
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
