Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize