I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
4 words: hood of his car
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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