This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
