He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
