Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
