she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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