lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
