if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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