So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
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We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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