Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
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I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
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Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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