I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
