he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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