$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
