dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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