..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
