it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
