he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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