Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
