Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
