Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
