Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
