i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
