Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
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This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have already put on my inside pants.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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