Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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