i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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