why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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