I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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