Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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