he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
