did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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