walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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