he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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